Ten Years in Civvy Street: What I’ve Learned

About ten years ago, I stepped out of uniform into civilian life.

I thought the hardest part would be building a business.

But the real challenge was unlearning 22 years of structured military discipline and adjusting to a world where most things run on “maybe” and “let’s see.”

Today, as the founder of Defensive Investments, I help people manage their wealth and interact with individuals from all walks of life. 

While doing so, I’ve learned a few real-world lessons, mostly the fun way.

I’m sure they’ll lift your spirits (literally!) and even improve your health.

1. “Let’s meet at 8” means reach by 9. And be ready to wait. Time is a concept, not a contract.

   
   

2. “On my way” doesn’t mean what you think. It could mean: just woke up, just left, or just started thinking about leaving.

   
   

3. Plans are always “tentative.” They will change. You too. 

   
   

4. People promise. Then forget. They don’t mean it. Don’t take every word as a commitment.

   
   

5. Most behavior is casual, not careless. It’s not disrespect. It’s culture.

   
   

6. Don’t scold two-wheeler riders on footpaths. (Especially in Pune) Give him a pass. It’s not an ambush. It’s just urban survival tactics.

   
   

7. Don’t correct rule-breakers. Lane-cutting, wrong-side driving, and noise at 11 PM. You’re not the Provost anymore. Let go. 

   
   

8. Don’t shout at the customer support rep. I know it’s frustrating, but don’t waste time correcting her. It’s of no use.

   
   

9. Don’t give advice unless asked. Unsolicited advice will mostly be overlooked. 

   
   

10. Don’t expect results immediately. Everything here takes time. It’s not laid back. It’s routine.

    
    

11. Don’t take the RWAs committee meetings seriously. These aren’t ops briefings. They’re just rituals.

    
    

12. Don’t assume everything’s a mess. Your definition of cleanliness is different. Dust in the lift lobby? Just walk past. 

    
    

13. Don’t instruct the security guard to take a round at night. You’re not the Duty Officer anymore. Just go to sleep.

    
    

14. Don’t offer unsolicited help. You’re being helpful. They’re thinking, “Why is this guy interfering?”

    
    

15. And most importantly, don’t flash that social smile at every unknown beautiful lady passing by. What you think is “friendly charm” might just come off as… creepy.

So, here’s the final learning:

It's just a new battlefield. The Fog of War Still Exists. In the Forces, we trained to navigate chaos with clarity. In civil life, chaos is the clarity. 

Civilian life isn’t disorganised. It’s freestyle. If it feels like no one’s in charge, that’s because no one is in charge. And it still works.

Don’t try to fix the system. You can’t because it’s not broken. It’s just built differently. 

The tools that helped us lead in uniform still work here: Adaptability. Flexibility. Manoeuvrability. 

Drop Ego. Drop assumptions.Drop expectations.  Keep adapting. Be Agile. Be flexible. 

As a defence officer, you’ve already served with extreme seriousness. Now don’t take civilian life too seriously. Relax. Smile. Have fun. 

Focus on your glass of beer — everything else is “mithya.”

If you're a fellow veteran, let's catch up soon over a glass of beer. (And yes, this time I really mean it.)

--- Pady