Fauji bhai, why can’t you shut your mouth?

Three real-world encounters and a big takeaway. 

First, a clash …

Last week I had a spat with my friends. It was Holi. I love that festival. We decided to play together. But a few friends dropped out at the last moment. And there was no valid reason for that. It was pretty obvious that they did not wish to tag along. 

Looking back, this behavior isn’t new; it seems to be a common pattern. Whenever we make plans, some friends tend to back out, which is frustrating.

I was genuinely upset about it. I hold my friends in high regard and always make myself available for them, even at the expense of my work, comfort, or other commitments. I never say no; I simply can’t.

However, I don’t receive the same level of commitment in return, which is why I was so furious. 

The next day I unleashed all the Holi slangs I mastered during my fauji training days.

I was bang on target.

But this was not the only skirmish. I bump up with too many.

Second, a conflict … 

A month ago, we had a small get-together of schoolmates. Many of us were meeting after almost two decades. Everybody expressed their views. When my turn came, as usual, I hit it on the nail. Blunt and straightforward. Ruthless to say the least. But honest and truthful. 

I said, “Friends residing in the same building, or in the same colony do not meet even for months together, what is the use of having get-togethers?”  This caused a lot of unrest within the group. 

I hit the bull's eye.  

And Third, a tiny battle … 

Recently in a business network meeting, one entrepreneur made a presentation about his business. At the end of it, it was a quick Q&A session. I got up and asked a question that popped up in my mind. Though the question was legitimate, it was not taken in the right spirit. The organizers were of the view that such questions may dampen the spirit of other entrepreneurs. But I had a different perspective. 

I was dead on.

I am truthful. I am honest. I am blunt. I wear my heart on my sleeve.

And I know I am a bit idealistic.

I hung my uniform nine years ago.

But even today, I arrive five minutes before time for any meeting. Be it formal or informal.

Even today, I speak the truth and nothing but the truth, even if it comes at my own expense.

Even today, I walk the talk. 

Even today, when I promise something, I deliver it at any cost.

I live by the underlying belief that my truthfulness may be helpful to others. 

Being a Fauji, certain behaviors are deeply ingrained in me—I can’t help it. Whether it’s the training, upbringing, reading from books, or learning from others' mistakes, these traits have become second nature. Even after nine years of hanging up my uniform, some habits refuse to die.

My friend Nisha, now my wife, keeps nudging me, “Hey Fauji bhai, why can’t you shut your mouth? You can’t change the world !!!”

As usual, the lady is always right.

I am learning to shut my mouth.

But as they say, once a soldier, always a soldier.  

A stupid, dumb fellow …