The Dancing Durga

A few years ago, during Navaratri, I happened to be in Mumbai. To be very frank, I do not like Mumbai because of its crowd and the speed with which life moves on here. I love places that are more peaceful, quiet and laid back. Every place has its own importance and strengths. During this stay in Mumbai, I realized that the strength of Mumbai is “Women Power.”

Women here start their day as early as 4-5 AM. And throughout the day they are on their toes, busy like bees. Many unfortunate women have to still start their day by fetching water from the nearby public taps and struggle for the same. Once done with the water, they move to the kitchen to prepare food for the entire family. Then it’s time to pack tiffin boxes for self, husband, and the children. Afterward help children get ready for school, see them off and then get ready for the office. Once out of home, then hurry up to catch the auto, reach the station, board the crowded train, and literally run to the office to sign that roaster in time. Break your head in office for ten hours and then reach back home by 8 PM night. Oops!!! This daily routine is more or less similar for most of the women in Mumbai. It is mentally and physically draining. Life for them is too hectic, and monotonous. However, the festivals bring in well-deserved break and excitement for them.

Navaratri is the beginning of festivities. The goddess Durga symbolizes feminine strength, power, and energy. The air is filled with excitement and fervour. I never had a chance before to experience this festival so closely. Despite being overwhelmed by the daily responsibilities of the family, women were extremely energetic and enthusiastic to celebrate this festival. Navaratri is celebrated for ten days. On the first day, I could see only yellow colour everywhere, on the station, on the road and inside the offices as well. Every woman was beautifully dressed up in a yellow sari and looking gorgeous, and graceful. The next day the colour changed to green. Everyone was in green saris. I asked my friend what is this all about? She said, during Navaratri, every day is marked with a special colour, and hence all ladies wear the same colour on that day. The next nine days I was astonished to see beautiful ladies in nine different colours, pink, grey, violet and so on. It was so colourful and majestic.

On the day of Dasara, I was coming back to Pune by Deccan Queen. I was waiting on the platform. The ladies were returning home from the offices. Suddenly, I heard loud singing near the ladies’ compartment. I was curious. And what I saw was a divine experience. Ladies were doing the Garba on the platform, dancing and singing loudly in a circle, enjoying themselves to the fullest. And including me, about a hundred gentlemen were watching this scene. The energy was vibrant and omnipresent. I could instantly feel that these were not common ladies, but twenty Durgas dancing together overpowering their family tensions and personal tragedies. This scene is still engraved deeply in my brain. Whenever I recall my days in Mumbai, the first thing which pops up in my mind is these Durgas dancing on the platform.

It was an eye-opening experience for me. It was highly motivating. Probably this “Ladies Josh” gave me a different perspective to look towards life. Did we ever see men in this avatar? I haven’t yet. And will never see in the future as well unless, of course, they are drunk. Believe me, it is not so easy to forget all your personal and official ordeals and then get ready every day in your best attire and look so pretty, graceful, and gorgeous. Only women can do this. My sincere salute to all ladies on this women’s day for making my life so enriching, beautiful, and memorable. Without these wonderful women, life would have been so colourless, bland, dull, and dark just like celebrating Navaratri without the Garba.

It is well-known fact that women are more resourceful, have uncanny abilities to multitask, and are mentally stronger than many of us. Despite these strengths, I have observed that many women do not show enough seriousness to manage their finances. When it comes to finances and wealth creation they still depend on their husband, father, or brother to take care of this important aspect of life. Hence it is imperative to change this behaviour and be financially independent. Let me share with you a real-life experience.

A few months ago, my close friend Dipesh passed away. He was in his early forties. This had left Sarika, his wife, and the entire family in grief and shock. It will take some time to heal these scars. When the head of the family is no more, it is really difficult for the rest of the family to cope with the emotional and financial stress. The emotional aspect gets healed automatically with time. Time is the best healer. However, the financial issues need to be resolved as early as possible. Over time, these will get more complicated and worsen.

Last week, I got a panic call from Sarika. When I enquired, I could see that she was in a complete mess. She was unable to handle any of the financial issues. She had no clue at all about the investments and finances of Dipesh and the family. She did not even know the bank account details, password, PF account, and other relevant information. It was a very painful ordeal. A traumatic and draining experience. We are still trying to resolve these issues.

Life after death never waits for anyone. It will continue at its own pace. The EMIs and the utility bills will be staring at you right from the very next month. This is the harsh reality of life. Unfortunately, most of us are not ready to accept this.

Indian society is still male-dominated. Sad, but true. Finances and livelihood earnings are considered as a male bastion. Women generally do not interfere much in financial matters. They are happy to look after the well-being of the family members and devote most of their time and energy to these activities. Though, one way, this clear demarcation of responsibilities is a good approach to function. However, the ladies must be aware of basic financial aspects.

Many of the time, the bereaved wife is absolutely unaware of the financials of her husband. The husband has also never bothered to keep her informed about the finances. The wife has also not taken any interest to know about this. Probably, due to the mental trauma attached to this, the ladies avoid even thinking about such eventuality. Hence, it becomes the responsibility of the husband to empower her with adequate financial information. This will help her to shoulder additional responsibilities and move forward in life without many difficulties.

The situation depicted above is equally applicable to even urban, well-educated, working ladies. I have seen that many working women are also not much aware of the finances. Their investments and accounts are managed by their husbands. There is nothing wrong or right about this. However, I am of the view that the ladies must be self reliant in managing their own finances. I have observed that the ladies even do not know the login ID and password of their bank account. They do not know how to execute online transactions. They are entirely dependent on their spouse for all investment-related decisions and information. Without him, they are helpless and handicapped.

Hence, it is essential to encourage women to be financially literate. They should at least be aware of the investments and liabilities of the household. This will make life much smoother. Let me help you with how to go about this.

Here are a few essential things the ladies must be aware of:-

• Office contact details of the spouse

• Monthly salary of spouse

• PPF, EPF and NPS details A

• All EMIs of loans like house loan, education loan etc

• Life insurance and health insurance cover. Keep these cards handy

• The login ID and password of all online services including banks, demat accounts and mutual funds etc

• Note down all investments and liabilities in a tabular format

• Ensure nominee is registered in all the investments. This is the most important aspect. If not yet done, do it today

• Ensure at least one bank account is in joint name. Keep emergency fund in this account. It should be at least six times your monthly expenses

• Keep all real estate documents in one folder. Get to know all these documents

• Keep jewellery in bank account locker. Please remember where you have kept the keys to the locker

• Involve children in these financial matters and keep them informed

• Become financially independent as early as possible. Let us not be dependent on anyone. This is the worst scenario which can happen. Avoid this mess.

• Create a pensionable fund for yourself by investing in mutual funds through Systematic Investment Plan (SIP)

We all know that death is inevitable. It will always be untimely and sudden. This is the ultimate truth of life. We do not have control over this. This is the only known risk that no one can mitigate. We can only try to reduce the impact of post demise trauma and agony.

Life is beautiful and you only live once. Enjoy the togetherness. Love each other. Don’t take life too seriously but manage your finances seriously. Let’s be a bit wiser today.

I want to see all Durgas dancing throughout their life without any worries. And believe me, this can only happen if you are financially independent. So, on this women’s day, let us strive to be the dancing Durga forever!!!!